You make breakfast.  You get the kids ready.  You hop in a shower.  You take them to school.  You go grocery shopping.  You run sixteen errands before they come home, at which time you take them to soccer practice, dance class, and a friend’s birthday party.  You make dinner, then clean the house.  You check their homework and tuck them in bed.  And by the time you’re done with all this, pretty much all you want to do is to crawl into bed and sleep for the next twelve hours, but you can’t, because tomorrow morning you have to do it all again.  Sound about right?

YOU’RE ON HYPERDRIVE

The problem with being a person-who-does-it-all is that there’s such little time to stop and assess whether you’re actually doing anything enjoyable for yourself.  Yes, just for yourself.  Not for your spouse, your kids, your in-laws, or the neighbors.  You probably spend the little down-time you have just vegging out with the TV, a book, or in a bath, but none of those things are creatively fulfilling.

You probably have half a dozen goals that you’ve put off for “someday,” like writing that novel you just know you could write, or getting back to painting again.  But when you look at them as a whole, they just sound like big, monstrous undertakings that you couldn’t possibly have time to complete.  And that leaves you feeling stretched out, unsatisfied, and maybe even a little resentful of your family.

TEN MINUTES A DAY

That’s why, instead of deciding, “I’m going to write a novel today,” you have to instead decide, “I’m going to spend ten minutes today creating something and enjoying myself.”  That’s all.  No pressure, and no guilt needed, because it’s only ten minutes.

During those ten minutes, you get to be the captain of your ship and do whatever it is that will please you most at that very moment.  You do not have to work toward any specific goal, nor do you need to write down a plan or a schedule.  You might use those ten minutes toward any creative or business endeavor of your choosing, but it must be something you’re doing strictly for your own satisfaction.  No baking brownies for the kids’ bake sale or straightening up your office.  This is time to reflect on and create your own joy.

NO INTERRUPTIONS

It’s important that your family respect your ten-minute oasis.  You may develop a special sign that it’s “creativity time” and there are to be no interruptions.  Some people put a little sign on the doorknob, others set a timer to beep at the end, so their children will know when it’s okay to talk to them again.  Writer Katy Terrega puts on headsets when she wants her children to know it’s mom’s special writing time.  There’s nothing actually playing in the headsets, mind you, but that’s her little secret.  The kids assume she can’t hear them, so they don’t talk to her while she’s wearing them.

MORE THAN JUST RELAXATION

Sure, writing a novel might be great, but maybe what you really need today is just to close yourself into the bathroom, slather moisturizer all over your body, give yourself a face mask, and just sit back and listen to that old CD you love.  That’s fine, as long as it’s not every day.

If that’s how you’re using your ten minutes every day, then all you’re doing is relaxing, not creating your own satisfaction.  Relaxing is important, too, of course, so do both!  Ten minutes for relaxing, and ten minutes for creating.  Come on, you’re worth at least 20 minutes a day.

HOW TO DECIDE

The concept of taking time for yourself may be so foreign that you’ve forgotten what kinds of things you enjoy.  Your own happiness is so entwined with the happiness of your family that you start to think the things that they enjoy must be the things you enjoy, too.

But think back to your own childhood and early adult years.  What was it that you loved to do best?

How about fingerpainting?  No, I’m not kidding.  Have yourself a little time warp and play with play-dough, make paper mache, or draw something with markers.

Reading is nice, but it’s a passive activity, which is not the same as actually creating something yourself.  Why not write a poem, or a song, or an essay to submit to your local newspaper?  Why not write your own greeting card? 

You might also: record yourself singing, learn how to sew, design your own web page, make yourself some jewelry with beads you bought at a craft store...

CREATING IS ADDICTIVE

As you start enjoying this creative time more and more, you may find that you’re ready to take another step.  Instead of cleaning out the refrigerator today, go out and take a ceramics class, or visit the scrapbooking store and look through examples and find out how to get started. 

As you become less harried and more satisfied with your own life, you may find that you’re an even better spouse and parent than you ever were before you started these “selfish” ten-minute breaks.  Those who are creatively fulfilled have more to give to their families.  You might even find that your self-esteem soars when you have “projects” of your very own to show off.

Take the time to embrace the creator within you, and see what a brighter outlook awaits you.