I guess those values led me into the helping professions with my decision to become a psychotherapist for which I received professional education and training. I remained at this position for over 40 years while creating thirty-six different audio programs having to do with mental health issues, I wrote a stress management self-help book entitled “Guide to a Life Management Process” and began to deliver numerous programs on Stress and other mental health issues to schools, banks, corporations, agencies and governmental institutions. In 2003, my wife and I decided to move to Florida where we now live in North Port. Our three children and seven grandchildren live in Virginia, Vermont and New Hampshire.

Aneeta: I understand that you’re a consultant, motivational speaker and author. Can you please tell me a little about each of these roles? What does it involve and what do you aim to achieve in your work?

Charles: As a psychotherapist back in the Buffalo area, I began to focus not just on the problems that people brought to me for help in resolving them but also on the life patterns that they developed as a result of those patterns. In fact, I just today finished writing my newest book, “How in the Hell Did This Happen to Me?” which describes many of the patterns that people move into to compensate for their difficulties. Most of the patterns were developed during childhood and learned from parental figures and may have worked well. Some of the patterns are healthy and useful to this day but others have become unhealthy and no longer useful. My job, both in the book and as a Consultant is to help people identify and change those patterns.

I have always enjoyed writing as a young person leading me to write for my high school newspaper and the Features Editor of my College paper. I’m told that I have an easy style that people enjoy reading and they’ve described it as being “homespun”. My speaking takes on much the same style. I love people and helping them to realize their strengths during the times of adversity in their lives. I’m told that I can get large audiences to have a good belly laugh or a good cry during my presentations. My main theme is simply this: “Life Management is Well Within Your Hands”.

Charles: As mentioned, I began creating CDs while a psychotherapist that have to do with topics such as Building Confidence, Dealing with Fears, Effective Stress Management and nine different Relaxation Response Exercises to help people manage their stress levels effectively.

I decided to write The Mental Side of Golf  upon moving to Florida and taking up the game in greater earnest. I have always been fascinated by the workings of the mind and the game of golf is said to be at least 90% mental. I must confess, though, that interwoven throughout the book, I continue to allude to the principles of effective life management as being the very same as managing one’s golf game which makes it difficult to find the right niche into which the book belongs.

Aneeta: How does storytelling feature in your work?

Charles: People learn best when they don’t know that they are learning and when they’re having fun. The most successful learning is learning on an unconscious level. That’s why a good teacher is one who can incorporate both into his/her lessons. You know of Aesop’s Fables and the parables of Christ. They are still being used to teach people lessons that are necessary in life with each person being able to interpret a story in their own unique manner so that it best fits their need. My storytelling techniques attempt to do the same thing so instead of directly telling someone what they might do to solve their problem, they can glean the meaning from a story that will allow them to do so on their own.

Aneeta: On your website, http://www.charlesmbonasera.com, I like this saying very much: If we could become inquisitive like a child and ask lots of questions, answers will come. Although this process requires patience, the time spent doing so is well worth the effort. Can you elaborate on this a little more – tell me how you came to make this statement?

Charles: I came up with it because most children are taught to give up what they’ve learned as children in order to enter into adulthood. Children have an uncanny sense of awareness which they tend to put aside ... to distrust … as they grow into adulthood. An adult might extend their hand and say “it’s a pleasure to meet you” while a child might say “I don’t like you”. I facetiously remark that children are taught to forget what they’ve learned and then they spend their time and money going to a therapist to re-learn it. Strong irony to say the least!

Aneeta: What advice would you give someone who wants to begin storytelling?

Charles: Read stories with morals or messages such as children’s books to get a feel for what true storytelling is about and develop one’s own unique style of storytelling.

Aneeta: Charles, this is all I have to ask. Is there anything you’d like to add?

Charles: Just one last thing, Aneeta. When I finished my professional education, my only goal was to make mental health palatable for people so that they would not be threatened by it. I define mental health as the search for alternative ways to happiness and I would invite readers of your column to go to my website and learn more about me, my work and my purpose. Also, going there, they will be able to read my many articles by signing up for my monthly newsletter Climbing the Mountain. I trust that they will enjoy the journey that my having developed my website was to take them on.

Thank you once again, Aneeta, for this opportunity of expressing myself.
 

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