What's your fascinating story?

Fascinating story # 5 Bruce Bussell

I came across Bruce Bussell's site, www.bigdaddybruce.com and made a request that he share with us his fascinating story, 'God Would Never Destroy the Faith of a Child'. He agreed and this is his fascinating story.

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GOD WOULD NEVER DESTROY THE FAITH OF A CHILD:

The presence of Angels has been debated since the beginning of time.  I used to be skeptical of all the people who claimed to be visited by Angels, that is, I was skeptical until an almost unbelievable event took place in the month of November, 1997.  The story began in 1989.

My wife, Candy, had battled cancer for almost 8 years.  What started out as a small lump she felt  while watching television one night turned into a battle for life unlike anything either of us were prepared for.

Candy was 32 when she was diagnosed with breast cancer.  We didn't know anything about it, how to fight it, or what it would do emotionally to our young family

We had three kids.  Ross was 9, Angela was 6, and Brandon was just 18 months old.  Our family was a typical little American family.  I was a teacher/coach at Carlsbad High School in Carlsbad, New Mexico and Candy was a third grade teacher.  The kids were involved in the things most kids are involved in at that age.  Ross was on soccer and basketball teams and Angela was a budding soccer star and participated on a cheerleading team.  Brandon enjoyed his daily stay at his babysitters house because of all the kids he got to play with.

Candy was my high school sweetheart.  We had met in our senior years and dated for 4 years before getting married.  Life was good to us.  We were truly in love and, most of all, loved our little family.

Our normal life came to an official end the day the doctor informed Candy that the biopsy of the mass they took just a week earlier was malignant.  We knew absolutely nothing about what breast cancer could do and how hard it would be to fight.

The next 7 years can only be described as"hell on earth" as Candy endured four recurrences and four different six month chemotherapy treatments.  She even underwent a lengthy and horrible high dose chemotherapy treatment followed by a bone marrow transplant.  This is another story all to itself and one that you can read if you read the longer version of this story.  Click here to go to it.  It is pretty much the same story you are reading here, but it goes into more detail about Candy's feelings toward leaving our children behind.  One particular part of the story is a heart wrenching story about our son, Brandon's, birthday party which was at a time when Candy was courageous just to be at it.

As the cancer treatments, the traveling, the expenses, the constant fights with our insurance company, and the emotional upheaval that cancer can cause to a family, I started to pull away from God.  I got angrier and angrier toward him.  We had such a beautiful life before all this happened.  My kids had to depend on grandparents, and brothers, and cousins to help raise them while Candy and I would spend most of our time away.  

After Candy's bone marrow transplant, she felt healthy for about a year and six months.  She even became a long distance runner.  Candy was about halfway through the 1996-97 school year when she suddenly started having difficulty breathing when she ran.  A return trip to Albuquerque revealed to us that she had pneumonia.  The doctors treated it, took tests, and told her she was still clean.  I know today that her body was about to break down and take us on a ordeal unlike any we had ever imagined.

One month after the pneumonia scare, Candy told me she was struggling to breath even sitting in her class at school.  She complained of chest pains and horrible headaches.  I called her doctor.  We were told to go to our local emergency room.  After hours of waiting, a doctor informed us that Candy had pneumonia again.  He took x-rays and sent all of the reports up to Albuquerque.  We figured Candy would have to stay in the hospital for a few days but that she would be okay once again.  It was the way of life for us.  Get sick, get well, get sick, get well.  At the time, I'm not sure we really gave a lot of thought to the fact that one time she would get sick, then die.

That night, I got a call at home.  It was Candy’s oncologist from Albuquerque.  She told me that Candy was in trouble and that we needed to get to Albuquerque as fast as possible.  I told her I could have her there the next morning.  She told me an airplane would be waiting for her in an hour.  

Within the hour, Candy and I were in the air.  We had to leave our kids with some friends until one of our parents could come to Carlsbad to take care of them.  I did not fully understand the severity of Candy’s problem until the next day.  Candy almost died on the plane, but they kept me up in the flight cabin and would not let me in the rear of the plane.  I did not know any problems were happening.

When we got to Albuquerque, an ambulance was waiting to take us to the hospital.  The doctor was waiting.  Candy was whisked off to the operating room.  The doctor pulled me off to another room and told me she thought the cancer was around the lining of Candy’s heart and that they had to relieve the pressure or she would die.  

The operation took a long time.  It was near midnight when the surgeon came out and told me Candy was resting and would be fine, for now.  He didn’t tell me the whole story.  I had to hear that from Candy.  

This is the point where, I believe, Angels entered the picture.  The next seven months would change my life forever.  I believe Candy’s sole reason for staying alive that night was to change my life and the life of our kids.  If she had died that night, I think I would still be bitter toward God.  The next glorious seven months would bring me closer to Him and eventually drive me to tell this story in the hopes that it will change someone else’s life too.

You see, Candy told me the next morning that she died on that operating table the night before.  She said that she encountered an Angel and told the Angel that she had unfinished business.  The next thing she knew, she was waking up in the recovery room.

I was skeptical.  I figured it was the drugs, but things started happening over the next seven months that convinced me that she did encounter a Messenger of God that night and that by allowing her to live for a few months more, God’s message would eventually be carried out by the one person who hated Him the most……me.

Within hours of Candy relating her experience to me, her oncologist entered the room.  She told Candy that most people would never had made it through her ordeal.  She said it was miraculous for her to pull through.  She described how the cancer had attacked the lining of her heart and had squeezed the heart until she shouldn’t have been able to breathe.  Before she left, the doctor asked Candy if she had been living right because she figured the only way Candy  was alive that day was by the Grace of God.  Candy told her that she had a Guardian Angel.  Little did we know at the time that she really did have an Angel on her side.

The next few days in Albuquerque brought the realization to me that my time with Candy was short.  I had a few private meetings with Candy's oncologist and was told that the cancer was spreading all over her body and there wasn't much that would keep it at bay.  The hardest thing to hear was that the doctor didn't think Candy would be alive come Christmas.  She told me to enjoy the time I had left with her and to make sure that Candy had a chance to enjoy her children.  Although there would be many more treatments, they were just delaying the inevitable.

The drive home was particularly tough for me.  Candy seemed to be at peace though.  She talked a lot about her visit from the Angel.  She told me that she was no longer afraid to die because the Angel told her I would forever be blessed and our kids would be okay.  She told me that it would seem like only a matter of hours to her before I joined her.  She said that a day in Heaven was like a thousand years on Earth.  She said she did the math and if I lived 40 or 50 more years, it would seem like an hour or so before we were reunited.

Secretly, I got more mad at God.  I couldn't understand how He could do this.  I had grown up with Candy and now I would have to live the rest of my life without her.  She was in such horrible physical pain, yet she seemed to accept it.  I could not.

Candy was now on oxygen 24 hours a day.  She had to have it in order to stay alive.  We got her portable bottles of oxygen so she could go places.  She still wanted to take the kids to school, go to their school functions, take them places after school, and all the things most moms do.  I was seething mad.  God was surely punishing us I thought.  Today, I realize he was merely leading us in His way.

The Summer of 1997 came and we decided to go on vacation.  Candy's doctor told her she could be away for no more than 2 weeks, so we went to South Padre Island, Texas.  It was the greatest vacation we ever had.  In fact, since we were at sea level, Candy didn't even need her oxygen.  Except for the fact that she had no hair, everything seemed normal for 2 weeks.

Then the real anguish began.  Within hours of returning home, Candy realized that she couldn't focus her eyes very well.  We quickly returned to Albuquerque and a scan of her body revealed that the cancer had made its way into her brain.  Radiation treatments were begun immediately.

The rest of the Summer and the early Fall meant lots of trips to Albuquerque and lots of time away from the family.  It was heartbreaking to realize that our children weren't going to see much more of their mom.  For that reason, in September, we returned home from Albuquerque with Candy's decision to not return.  She decided to meet her doctor in a town closer to our home.  The problem was that the doctor only came there once a month and Candy was needing once a week visits.  An oncology nurse in Ruidoso administered the weekly doses of chemotherapy drugs and we would be
back home before the kids got home from school.

One trip to Ruidoso had an effect on me that will forever stay in my heart.  The only thing was, the conversation we had didn't completely sink in until Candy was gone.  We were about halfway to Ruidoso on a desolate highway.  Candy had been asleep most of the trip.  Suddenly, she woke up and reached over and touched my arm.  She said that she didn't feel like she was dying.  She said that it was more like “crossing over.”  She explained that she had received numerous visits from Angels preparing her for Heaven.  

I listened but I refused to accept anything she said as being real.  I was just too mad at God to think that He could give her any comfort at a time when it hurt her to just walk. But, I listened and didn't really respond.

Candy told me that our son was in Heaven waiting for her to hold him.  I almost stopped the car when she said this.  You see, our first child ended up miscarried.  We never even knew if it was a boy or girl, so when she said our son was waiting in Heaven for her, I was shocked.  I asked her how she knew it was a boy.  She told me her Angel let her see him.  She said he was still a baby and that she couldn't wait to hold him when she got there.  

You have to understand something.  Candy was not on any drugs at the time.  She had learned to endure her pain without pain pills.  The only drugs she was receiving were her chemotherapy drugs and they didn't cause hallucinations.

I began to take notice of the things she would talk about.  She never really said a lot, but she would occasionally tell me more about the Angels.  I actually began to think that God might be trying to give her comfort, but I was still mad that He was doing this to my family.

One day in early November, Candy excitedly told me that an Angel appeared to her while I was in town.  He took her to Heaven she said.  She told me about colors that she couldn't begin to describe.  She said they were unlike anything we have on Earth.  She told me how everyone was happy.  She smiled when she told me that there was never any sadness there.  Tears ran from her eyes when she told me that it wouldn't be long before her pain was gone and she was healthy once again.

I listened, told her I loved her, and went outside.  I cried a thousand tears and told God that I would do anything if He would spare her life.  I knew He wouldn't and that made me even more angry.

Just a couple of weeks before Thanksgiving, Candy fell one night as she walked into the living room and she never walked again.  X-rays revealed that the cancer was pressing on her spinal cord.  Radiation treatments were begun in order to keep it from breaking her bones.

I began carrying her wherever she needed to go.  She was confined to a wheelchair.  I had to help her dress, clean, go to the bathroom, everything.  She was losing her dignity and I knew it was eating her up emotionally, but she would never let anyone else but me see it.

The day before Thanksgiving, we were in the bedroom.  The kids were home because of the holiday.  Our parents were on the way for a visit.  Candy gave me a long, hard stare.  She told me she had something to say that she knew I wouldn't like.  She told me it was time.  She said she couldn't go on any longer.  She told me that she would be gone within the next 24 hours.  Although I objected, I could see it in her eyes.  The fight in her was gone.  I had watched her fight this horrible disease for almost eight years.  She had a determination that no Olympic athlete could display.  She was my hero through this whole ordeal, but on this day, I could see that her fight was over.

I asked her what she wanted me to do.  She told me to bring each of the kids in so she could talk to them.  Her conversations with them was the hardest thing I have ever had to listen to.  She was so calm and her love for each of them was so very evident.  The kids had a hard time accepting it, but she calmed them in the way only Candy could.

Our youngest son told her he loved her and that he didn't want her to go away.  He told her if she would just try to live a little longer that maybe she would be healed.  He reminded her that she told him once that she thought she would be healed.  Candy patted his head and told him that she finally was going to be healed, but it was going to take a trip to Heaven for her healing to take place.

Brandon asked her how he would know that she was healed.  She told him to look into the sky just after she died.  She told him that an Angel sent from God had promised her that a special star would shine down and he would know that she was healed, happy, and in Heaven.  Brandon accepted this and left.

I, on the other hand, was puzzled and a little angry that she would tell Brandon a story like that. I knew Candy's time was limited on Earth, but I had to ask her how she could tell Brandon such a story.  She told me that an Angel had visited her and told her that this would happen. Again, I countered.  I told her that a number of things could happen where a star would not shine.  I said she might die in the daytime.  She said she was going to die on Thanksgiving night.  I said it might be cloudy when she died.  She said it wouldn't be.

Finally, she touched my arm and said these words that I will never forget.  She said, “Bruce, God would never destroy the faith of a child.  Don't worry, I was promised.  It will happen just as I told him.”

The rest of that day and the next day, Thanksgiving Day, is now pretty much a blur to me.  The house was full of relatives and close friends.  Candy started to slip away in the early morning hours.  It looked like she might die before noon.  I started to wonder what I would say to Brandon.

The nurses came and by noon Candy was pretty much incoherent.  She would touch the kids and smile, but she could no longer respond or talk to any one.  The nurse told me she would go soon.  I guess Candy heard the nurse tell me that because she pointed her finger at me as if to say, “I told you I would die at night, don't worry.”

Candy struggled to stay alive, but night time came.  I was relieved.  I spent almost all my time with her as she started to slip away.  At one point, I went outside.  The kids were out on our patio.  I told them they needed to go say goodbye to their Mom.  Her time was almost over.  As they went into the house, I looked up at the sky.  There were no stars.  The sky was full of mushroom clouds.  They were big and they looked like they were boiling and growing bigger as I looked at them.

As I walked into the house, all I could think was what I would say to Brandon, but I could hear her say, “Bruce, God would never destroy the faith of a child.  Don't worry, I was promised.  It will happen just as I told him.”  I decided to have some faith that she was right.  I owed it to her, but it nagged at me none the less.

Candy passed away about 8:15 that night.  Everyone gave her their last respects, the funeral home was called, and Brandon announced that he wanted to see Mom's star.  He wanted to see for himself that she was okay now.  He wanted to see God's promise that she was in Heaven and was finally healthy.  I dreaded this, but I went along with it.

I grabbed him in my arms and told Ross and Angela to follow me out to the front porch.  A few others went out with us.  As we looked up into the sky, it was full of the huge clouds I had seen just minutes before.  I was about to say something to Brandon when a small clearing in the clouds appeared and, shining down at us, was Candy's Star.  One star.  That's it.  One star.  Her star, just like she said it would.

Candy was right.  God would never destroy the faith of a child, and while He was at it, He restored mine.

Within an hour, the sky was clear and shining down on us were more stars than I had ever seen.  I believe those stars were the Angels  rejoicing that the faith of a child was kept just as promised and the faith of a skeptic had been restored.

My e-mail address is:  bruce@HeartsForGod.com.  I would love to hear from you if this story had any kind of impact on you. You can also send any prayer requests to
prayer_requests@bigdaddybruce.com.

I really believe that God is asking me to tell this story to as many people as possible. It has been my experience over the last few years that people want a relationship with God, but sometimes need a gentle push that a story like this one will give them in order to get them closer to Him.  Please feel free to send this page link to your friends.  

I also have a newsletter that is designed with the single intent to help the reader have a better relationship with God.  You can sign up for it at the top of this page.

My cell phone is 505-361-3268.  I have it with me almost all the time.  I would be happy to talk to anyone about this story or about a relationship with God.

I also am a very good speaker and would be willing to go just about anywhere to tell this story to your church group.  I have spoke to a couple of groups and I can promise you that it moved many people.  I believe the reason that this message is so strongly accepted and the reason that people will be moved toward a closer relationship with God is because it is such a positive and non-threatening message that appeals to people's desire to strive for God's Love.   All I ask is for help traveling to your church and a place to stay while I am there.  

It has been over 7 years since Candy died.  I am proud of the way our three kids grew up.  Ross, 24, is completing his student teaching and will be an elementary teacher next year.  He is married to Betty and they have a son, David, who is 2 1/2 and a baby boy on the way in April.  Angela, 21, is a great mom to Andrew, 8 months, and is married to a military man, Bryan,  who is serving in a homeland security position.  Brandon, 17, is a junior in high school and is currently a varsity basketball player for the Carlsbad Cavemen.  I am married to a wonderful Christian woman, Lea Ann,
and we have a son, Nicholas, who is one of the most special little kids in the world.

The first 4 years after Candy's death tested our Christian values.  I believe Satan entered the picture and tried everything, and I mean everything,  he could do to destroy a family that was in a very vulnerable position.  God won our battle for us.  The story of that battle is the one I really want to share with your church groups.  It is a story that families need to hear together and it is very powerful. E-mail me or call me at the numbers listed above.

May God Bless You As Richly As He Has Me,

Bruce Bussell